#BackseatPoetry April 2016 [Part 3] | Marvin Jordan II

Screen Shot 2016-04-01 at 8.15.26 PMIt’s that time again for another #BackseatPoetry April installment, so we’re back with two more pieces from Marvin Jordan II. As always you can catch up here on Part 1 and Part 2 first. Then, take a look at today’s features — “Loved Wrong” and “Never Too Much”

Loved Wrong

I have loved… 

She was brown skin with brown eyes,thick lips with thicker thighs and a smile that could light up the sky.

Her moans bellowed like the damned mothers of Tennessee plantations giving birth to a son they would lose..

Carrying the soul of a southern baptist church ringing vibrantly through the country roads of Savannah, Georgia.

And when she walked the ground shook like the fields of Gettysburg as cannons took flight…

Her hair flowed long and gracefully, like wheat fields dressed in the sun’s glow, carressed by free winds..

I loved..

I loved how her anger consumed her like the rage of a child clinging to its dying mothers bosom

How when she yelled it commanded the very depths of my heart to adhere and understand her pain..

How she said my name, like another would never say again.

And I say the same..I Loved..

Loved the idea of me and my beautiful black wife, with our white picket fence and our brown kids. With our family dog, having a picnic on green St Augustine grass cut by the gardener who was just as much a part of our family. Telling stories of past family vacations..

I loved to dream and she loved to scream, I love to cheat and she hated to leave.

I chose to grieve and grieve because the pleasure of a conqueror isn’t the same as the rights of a king.

I could rape and pillage lands live savage, but she stood by the door with har baggage, crying saying Marvin I’ve had it. I just cant manage, but I love and what I love is damage.

And the sight of her back fading into the dark streets i couldn’t stand it. Come back I demanded.. 

I loved and lost. Now I’m lost and alone. I loved my beautiful black woman and I loved doing her wrong.

 

Never Too Much

To drop out would be cop out,

I’ma rock out with my cock out and socks off.

Cause the gloves are off and I lost the fight. So I’ll embrace it.

Let’s face it, I care too much.

I sleep so I won’t worry while I’m awake

and you could imagine the number of headaches I get

from the heartaches since we split.

It’s fucking ridiculous,

and I hope your not offended but what makes you worth it.

What makes you special??

Everything I do revolves around you, salads at lunch to stay fit for you.

Everytime I shop, I wonder what I could get for you.

My heart can’t get rid of you,

I stopped hanging with my friends that you hate so I don’t offend you.

And I’m not even with you, I got no way of reaching you.

I drive by your favorite restaurants just to get a glimpse of you..

Is this what I have been reduced to?

Half of what I used to have..

and the heartache will last longer than we ever could have.

Cause I care my heart is in shambles 

and when I asked about love I ramble.

And when I think about perfection you are always the example.

Cause I care I’ll never think I’m good enough,

it’s like you were so smart and I didn’t know enough.

And you left when it was rough

Cause I care I could never blame you

even though I know I would’ve never did the same to you.

Does this hurt the same for you, do you care like I do

or do I care more than I should??

Cause I care I will die caring,

until my heart rusts.

Cause deep down, I don’t ever think I could care too much.

 

Stay tuned for Part 4. We’ll be dropping three pieces.

–S’B

 

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